Floating on.

Scholastically, this semester was a failure.

Because

I researched what I wanted to know about: philosophy, the stock market, 3D printing, mechanics, magnetism, social morality, social justice, theology, music Theory, wrote my own piano song.


I followed my own intellectual curiosities.
I read some works of American philosopher William James.
I read some of the Scottish philosopher David Hume.
I read some of Bertrand Russell.
I read Machiavelli.
Robert Solomon.
Tolstoy.
Thomas Aquinas.
Immanuel Kant.
Aristotle.
Socrates.
Epicurus.

I opened an account with Charles Schwab. I researched investing in the stock market. How 3D printing is going to change the world. I tried to find an American company involved in Graphene to invest in. I read about FOREX and wanted to get involved with that. I read about Bitcoin.

I tried to learn Music Theory. I wrote my own songs on the Piano. I wanted to transpose it onto sheet music.

I followed my intellectual curiosities. And i'm being reprimanded for it because the cost was a semester of school. I'm going to fail a few classes this semester, most likely. But does the end justify the means? What have I learned at the cost of a semester of school?

I've learned there are people who have changed the world by thinking about the world. These philosophers I've read about sought wisdom and understanding with a fervor and used what they learned about the past to discover the cause of the present, to steer today's direction of the present and effect the future. That is what I want. I want to understand why. Because there is a troubled world out there. I want to help it. And if a person 3,000 years ago could do it, so can I. I've learned that I have an earth sized curiosity but a volleyball sized head. Others would say I have a pea sized ability to focus. But so does a dog that you're trying to dress in a tutu.

This semester my eyes have been opened. I see in the big picture now. In the big picture, figuring out what I want in life at the cost of a semester of school is justified. It's unfortunate that my family's hard work and hard-earned money has paid a semesters tuition. I am sorry about that. But I know what I want to do now:

I want to simplify. Less school. Less hours. More study. Less frustration. More fulfillment. Laser beam. Not flashlight.

Exact steps towards my goal: Philosopher/theologian.